It's one day already after her death. I still cannot believe that fact in front of my eyes. I still cannot accept the destiny that Allah decided for her and for me. Her words and her promise are still clearly enough on my mind.
The person who I am talking about is Bu Yulinar. She was my previous teacher when I was at Junior High School. She is also my neighbour and the best friend of my mother. My mother and I were very close to her. And the bad news that I got yesterday made me crazy.
It was started when My Uda rang me up and he said he got a call from his student said that Bu Yulinar has passed away. I was very shocked whenever I heard that bad news. I couldn't imagine and believe that she has gone. She was fine so far. She didn't have any serious sickness before I came here. That bad news was an unbelievable news for me.
At that time I really want to scream and complain to Allah. I really didn't accept His deciision. That was an unacceptable decision for me.
Up to now, I still remember what she promised me. Whenever I rang my parents up, I talked to her. She said she would wait for me and asked me to go back home as soon as possible. She promised to attend my wedding day as that day would be a happy day for her as well. But the fact, she didn't keep her promise. She has gone. Yes, she has gone.
Whenever I got this bad news, I was thinking of my mom. I was certainly knew that my mom would be very shocked receiving this bad news. And my feeling was right as last nighy my mother rang me up and she said she was still confused of loosing a best friend. My mom, Bu Yulinar and Bu Zurmi were best friends. At the mosque nearby my house, the Jama'ah called them "3 Dara" as they were always together.
Well, I think I sould try to accept this difficult destiny. I am pretty sure that this is the best decision for her. And I have forgiven her not being able to keep her promise to me. Moreover, by staying and crying in my room for the whole day are not a good thing to do. Thus, from now on, I will try to stop crying and try to realize that Allah has given the best decision for her and there will be a lesson beyond this. Even though it is still hard to let her go, I will always pray for her and remember her advice for me. Always...
May you rest in peace Bu Yulinar, my beloved teacher...
I will keep your smile, your laugh and your advice in here, in my heart...
May Allah give the best place for you and give His Jannah as your last home...
aaammiiin..
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